so now that it’s finals week i’ve been posting pretty much every day.
but i just HAD to write this down.
being on Vision Team for MEIV (Multiethnic Intervarsity), there’s a lot that goes through my mind every year about leadership. About what it means to be a leader in a student run Christian community. About what it means to be a servant leader for God’s kingdom, for his glory. And every year, regardless of my position, I always feel apprehensive, because I don’t think that I’m ready to take on this role, I don’t think that I’m good enough, that I’m strong enough as a Christian to lead these people…
And every year God reminds me that he equips the called, he doesn’t call the equipped. It doesn’t matter what kind of faith I have in myself–that’s just dumb. What matters is the faith that I have in God–for him to change me, for him to work through me and take over. And I have a good deal of faith in God, after all, I think faith is one of my spiritual gifts 😉 And I’ve learned to embrace this uncertainty in leadership, because without it, I’d probably end up walking on my own, thinking that I can do this, that I’ve got this. And then where would God be? Not my focus. Not my center. So really, this nervousness, apprehension, whatever I want to call it, it’s really a blessing.
That’s not to say that I still don’t wonder about how I’m going to lead the small group leaders…how I’m going to lead Bible studies for them so that they can go out and lead Bible study for the rest of our chapter. Especially after this year…seeing that I really don’t have that great of a foundation…I mean, I learned all the stories when I was younger, but how many of them stick with me well enough that I can make connections between them, or simply recall what happened when I want to? I don’t know all that much about the Bible.
But today, I was browsing through the LJ Christian communities, wondering if there was one that I should join, wondering how exactly this whole LJ community thing works…(I mean, does it automatically post your post up? are you supposed to address members of the community, or just be yourself and have it as a forum where they can read your thoughts if they want to?)…
and I ran across this quote that someone’s pastor had said.
“It’s not my job to feed you. It’s my job to make you hungry.”
that pretty much stopped me in my tracks. I don’t need to forcefeed these small group leaders anything, I don’t need to have it all laid out so they can just regurgitate whatever I say to the masses. I just need to help ignite the fire within them. To help them desire God more. That’s it really. God does that, and he does all the rest too. It’s my job to make them hungry.