i’m realizing more and more how deep and meaningful it is to have the body of Christ, including all its nuances.  These days it’s hard without InterVarsity, it’s the first time I’ve been without it since my freshman year!  And my church is just going through some terribly sad things right now, churches splitting and ugliness ensues.  

I miss the consistancy of one faith community, or at least, primarily one.  Nowadays there’s a handful of people I can turn to, people that i can count on to walk along side me in this journey of wandering in the brambles of the straight and narrow.  And I am so thankful for them.  But I miss joining together, serving together, worshipping and going deep and discussing matters of faith and the heart together.  Walking through life every day, or at least regularly.  

I realize I’ve become more cynical…more jaded…I’ve lost a lot of faith in people over the past year, and especially over the past couple months.  It’s easy to do when you see the people who raised you in the church, and you see the brokenness that has resulted in their service.  (I certainly don’t blame individuals…and I have to trust that they tried their best to reconcile and to look for God’s will in everything.)  

And I realize that brothers and sisters to encourage and lift you up–to remind you of the goodness of God, to remind you of the possibilities that are only possible in his hands, to share stories of changed lives and of healed hearts–this is what I really yearn for right now.

And so I pray.  I wait, and I pray.  I don’t know if God will restore my youthful (naive?) optimism, and to be honest, I’m not even sure if that’s the best outcome in the end.  But regardless of what I’ve seen and experienced in this world, I’m just more and more convinced that there is no hope in this world without God, without Jesus, without the Holy Spirit.  And so we pray in defiance of what is for what we know our God can do.  To bring into being what is only possible with a God of the impossible.

The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with us all.

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