Modern Day Psalm for the Brokenhearted

{a season of depression}

Dear Lord God,

I am so tired.  I’m so exhausted and I can’t do this on my own.  I can’t keep going and I know the stress won’t end.  I know the devil’s attacks are persistent and I know he waited all this time until the closest of friends left.  None of these attacks alone are too much to bear…but all of them together is just so overwhelming.  I’ve never cried so consistently for so long and the waves are threatening to swallow me whole.

The darkness is pressing against the walls and closing in.  I’m trying to keep the walls up, God…I am.  But I’m so tired.  I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up.  

I need you, Lord.

I need you to take this from me, to stand before me and take my place because I can’t do this.  I want to persevere, God.  I want to be found faithful.  I’m so weak Lord, and I need your strength.

I don’t even known what the problem is, where this sorrow and anguish is coming from.  My heart is full of pain.

God protect me.  And heal me.

I know you’re with me, that you’re near; I don’t feel deserted, forgotten, or overlooked.  My faith is not shaken at all–I know you are holy, righteous, slow to anger but abounding in love, a God of truth, wisdom, power, and might.  The God of Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon, the God of angel armies who upholds the world in your right hand, the God who punishes iniquities yet gives forgiveness and grace to generations.  I know you’re the God of the quaking mountains, of the raging seas, of the sound of a soft breeze.  I know you set the stars in motion and tell the sun to sleep and the moon to rise.  I know you’re the God who allows Satan to wreak havoc with mass shootings in DC and civil wars in Syria and I know there will be no peace on this earth till you come again.  I know there will only be an increase in famines, natural disasters, wars, disease, and death.  I know you will come to judge the wicked and the redeemed. 

So I ask you, Lord, to stand before me and take these burdens from me because I know you are all powerful and I know you care…or give me more of your strength to make me strong.  But reveal to me Lord, what is at the root of all of this, God.  Reveal what needs to change within me, or if this is just a time of testing. 

Let me see your glory and your hand at work in all of this, God.

Use it for your kingdom purposes.  If I have to endure this, let it be for good.  

Give me strength to face each day, that I might make disciples as I’m going, God.

Thank you, Lord, for this day.

Stay close to me, God.

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