Tag Archives: relying on god

He is true to his word.

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Though he sent them to wander for 40 years in the desert for not trusting in his provision, he was still faithful to this new generation.  He brought them into the land filled with milk and honey, he delivered their enemies into their hands, and he allotted each of the tribes land as he had promised.

He was so faithful to them, and true to his word.

One of the best qualities you can find in a person is someone who is trustworthy, and the Lord is perfectly so.  He will bring about his plans to fruition, and his promises from ages past are still true today.

This new year I made a resolution to become a person who is true to their word.  A person who honors the commitments that I make and says what I mean.  It’s not easy, especially when you’re a people pleaser, and an introvert!  Some of my grad school friends love huge house parties.  I love a good time every once in a while, I do, but my version of good time ALSO includes small intimate gatherings over dinner.  lol  Or more than likely, coffee talk time that’s one on one.  So instead, I found it’s much easier to give hopeful “maybe’s”, because then at least they know there’s a CHANCE that I might do xyz.  It’s not true that introverts are antisocial, but it is true that big parties are exhausting and require a lot of willpower to attend and force yourself to make small talk with new people until you sidle up to your good friends and find that cozy spot in the midst of a big crowd.  But by now my good friends can distinguish my “Maaaaybeeeesbutprobablynots” from my “Maybeyeahlemmecheckmyschedule.”

I’m also a chronically late person.  10-15minutes max, but still.

I realized it’s because I’m selfish.  I never take into account parking (I simply forget that crucial part), I usually underestimate traffic (curse of an optimist), but mostly, I’ve realized, is that I inherently and subconsciously value personal time to such an extent that I’m willing to inconvenience the other person by making them wait.  It disgusts me to write it down, but it’s the truth.  Somehow I value my own time over theirs, and therefore, it’s not bad if I’m 5-10minutes late.  Regularly.

So after God revealed that fun tidbit to me, I decided that needs to change.  So I decided to try to become a person of my word.  Someone whose “yes” means “yes”, whose “no” means “no”, and someone whose “10:30am” actually MEANS I’ll be there at 10:30!

Because one of the things I absolutely love about God is that when he says something, you can count on him to do it, even thousands of years later.  He is never changing, AND he is trustworthy and true.  The promise in his word, for example, that he will bring about all things for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose in Christ Jesus gives me such hope.  That no matter the sorrow, no matter the pain, no matter the wrongs done to me or anyone on this earth, he WILL bring it about for his good if we put our trust in him.  Nothing goes wasted under his watch.

We can trust him when he says he’ll never leave us or forsake us.

We can trust him when he says he loves us.

We can trust him when he says he knows our inmost being.

We can trust him when he says he knit us together piece by piece before we were born.

We can trust him when he says his works (ourselves included) are wonderful, when all the world tells us otherwise.

We can trust him when he says that he satisfies our every longing and desire.

We can trust him when he says that though there will be trouble, we have nothing to fear, because he has overcome the world.

We can trust him when he says that he is righteous and all the heartbreaking wrongs will be accounted for.

We can trust him when he says that there will be a day when tears and sorrow will be no more.

 

So to read this verse this morning, it’s literally beautiful.  He’s beautiful.  Not a single WORD went void, EVERYTHING he said came to pass.  Thank you, YHWH, covenant LORD.

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Save me, O my God!

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This was written by David, at a time when he was still king, but his son Absalom had sought to usurp him. He had gathered David’s people against him, and publicly shamed him. David remained the anointed one, and he knew that his son Solomon was supposed to succeed him.  Yet he still loved his son and did not seek to harm him, though his son wished him dead. What despair, to have your own son turn against you and seek to take everything that is yours.  But in his darkness, he turned to the Lord. His hope was in the promises of a God who hears, who sees, who remembers, and who provides.

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Fear & the Will of God

Fear: a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real orimagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
Synonyms: foreboding, apprehension,consternation, dismay, dread, terror, fright, panic, horror, trepidation, qualm.
Antonyms: courage,security, calm, intrepidity.

The third of this dictionary series.

These past six months have been absurd.  Filled with quick blushes, fluttering hearts, and alabaster jars full of tears.  As a twenty six year old who has never been in a relationship, these past six months were full of uncertainty, excitement, and revelations, as for the first time, I was “seeing someone”.

He came out of nowhere.  I was happy being single, busy with friends, school, research, and church.  I had just come back from Urbana, InterVarsity’s amazing missions conference, where the Lord reminded me that he has a perfect plan, a me-shaped dream that is part of his plan in restoring the world.  He reminded me that he made me, down to the interests and specific experiences that I’ve had in my life, and nothing, nothing goes wasted under his watch.  He is a purposeful God.

So coming off this conference high, my friends told me that they were speaking to this guy about me, and suggesting that we meet.  They’d been talking to him for months, and he was asking my best friend tons of questions about me to see whether he wanted to take a risk and meet me.  Eventually, he decided that he would jump, and he asked me out to coffee in mid January.

We met once a week, no more, no less.  And we tried to keep the boundaries platonic.  Ever since our second meeting, we always went dutch, and physically we did nothing–not even holding hands.  But over time, he found me making my way into his heart, and eventually, I found him in mine.  As cliche as it was, things happened so quickly.  He told me  in early March that he “liked [me], and really enjoyed spending time together”.  And in early April, I tried ungracefully to tell him the same–“soooyanothatsongthatsplayinginthatsceneinbeautyandthebeastwheretheyrethrowingsnowballsateachother?yeaaah,ithinkthatswhereimat.”  Hahaha 🙂  But he graciously let me express myself in the only way that I could.

We went and found new restaurants together through yelp, we fast danced (me awkwardly) at the Navy’s Anniversary Ball, and we sat beneath the shade of trees and talked for hours, often spending a quarter of a day together.  Restaurants would close, but our conversations would continue as we strolled along the Ala Wai canal, or sat in a car.

He believes in one of those Christian alternatives to dating–dating with friendship at the forefront and marriage in mind, then once he knew that I would be the one, he would propose, and then pursue until I said yes.  It’s modeled after Christ’s pursuit of our own hearts–a commitment to loving us that inspired and motivated the greatest act of love known to mankind.  Commitment first, pursuit second.  And although I struggled (and quite frankly was frustrated) with wanting a traditional relationship where pursuit and romance happens at the onset of emotions, I respected his conviction and I admired that his eyes were focused on the cross.

Being in the Navy, he would occasionally be gone, disappearing into a submarine for weeks at a time, and communication was spotty and via email at best.  But we made it through, with biblical encouragement and the cds of worship songs he’d make me.  His last underway was most difficult, I was so used to texting him every day, and that morning he’d sent me a text, facebook message, and email, so every line of communication that I had was another reminder that he would be gone for 21 days.  And I actually was counting them down one by one in the beginning, because I missed him so.

But while he was gone, I was praying with open hands, asking the Lord what he would want from us.  Specifically, “What should we do, Lord?”  And behold, I heard “Break up.”  Over the course of a few weeks, I’d press the question again twice after that, not believing what I’d heard, and honestly not wanting it to be true.  So finally, when I heard it a third time, I began asking the Lord for confirmation–through scripture, through quiet times, through anything, but specifically, I asked that my friend Jeannie, who had always been so supportive of us, would confirm what I’d heard.

The Lord provided.  Be careful what you pray for, because He is a God who answers.

Since we stopped dating, the tears just won’t stop coming.  I sobbed in the beginning, and I just had no words to say to anyone, including God.  It was all I could do to just sit there with Him in my car, watching the sun sink over the Honolulu skyline, and know that He hears and He was with me.

Through this time though, God has taught me so much.  I’ve begun to read books on Guidance, Finding God’s Will,  listening to sermons on singleness and listening in silence…and through it God has shown me much.

We all want God to tell us what to do.  We all want God to simply save us the pain and the struggle of figuring things out for ourselves, because we know that his plans are infinitely better than ours.  That his plans lead to his glory.  And who wouldn’t want to take a shortcut to get there?  Why bother with my own plans and my own desires when i know my heart is sinful, and when I know that whatever he wants is best for me?

Because he wants you to be an autonomous being that is both fully you and fully submitted to him.  Just as he didn’t force you to choose him, he will not and does not want you to just be a puppet who does whatever He wants.   In a sermon by Tim Keller, he provided this illustration:

Imagine you’re a parent.  And your five year old asks you for permission to go out and play.  “Of course,” you say.  “But be back home by five, because your mother and I are cooking dinner.”  Now imagine that it’s 15 years later, and your 20 year old calls and says “Hi Dad, my friends are playing frisbee at the park, is it ok if I go play with them?”  You’re dumbfounded.  “You’re 20 years old!  You know your workload, you know how much time you can afford to spend with your friends.  You don’t need to ask me, you can decide for yourself.”

The greatest lessons are learned through living, not told by word of mouth.  Did you come to believe that God loves you because you heard it week after week in a building with a steeple, or did you come to know that God loves you because you had an undeniable experience where his love completely overwhelmed you like the flood of rushing waters?  Did you come to know that you are a sinner because people with picket signs pointed their fingers and accused you, or did you come to find you’re a sinner because you were shown a mirror and saw the depth of depravity within your own soul that looks so shiny and good from the outside?

Likewise, God’s guidance, his wisdom comes through learning.  Learning to listen for the promptings of the Spirit, and learning to walk in ways that are just and true.

Of course, when you’re making difficult decisions that have nothing to do with morality (for those, the answer is in God’s word), things get complicated.  What job to take, what school to go to, who we should marry, we often turn to God for guidance and for direction for these.  As we should.  There are certainly better options, and there are worse options.  Prayer, wisdom, and countenance of friends are certainly necessary.

But to ask God directly for what He wants, I think we need to examine our hearts for why we ask this question.  Sometimes the way just doesn’t seem clear.  And any of the options before you seem good, so therefore you really want to inquire of the Lord and make an informed decision.  And often times, he may just tell us to choose.

Sometimes, however, we ask the Lord what he wants because we’re afraid.  We fear making the wrong choice, because we’re afraid of the consequences.  We don’t want to pick the path less traveled by and come to find it’s full of thorns and wild beasts waiting to devour us.   It may seem like the holy way to go, inquiring of the Lord.  But your heart is quaking in fear.  You’d rather He just make the decision because then there’s no responsibility on your part–God told you do this.  And if God told you to do it, it must be good!

Remember, God is a God who answers prayers.

When I asked the Lord what to do with this man, I was in the second boat.  Not only did I fear the consequences of my actions, but I honestly thought that if God made the decision and told me what to do, then I would follow, and I hoped that it would expedite his glory.  God, you, me, and the right person, we’ll make a good team one day.  So if he is the one, tell me to get a move on and climb aboard.  Silly me.  Expedite his glory.  As if such a thing exists!  The rocks cry out day and night with the sound of his praises!  As if I could delay his glory by making the wrong choice.  As if I had any power to do such a thing, as if such a thing could even happen!  The Lord will be glorified in our sin or in our worship, it’s simply our choice.

But the Lord convicted me today that I asked him what to do out of fear.  He in his grace, answered anyway.  I was afraid because I knew that he was close to a proposal.  I was afraid because if it turns out I don’t want to marry him, I didn’t want to hurt him.   I was afraid because if I don’t want to marry him, I may end up alone forever.  I was afraid because if he didn’t want to marry me, I would be heartbroken.  I was afraid because deep down inside marriage scares me.  I was afraid because my parents are divorced, I’ve never seen a healthy marriage, and I’m terrified of going through it myself.

Being a child of divorce leaves scars.  It just does.  The Lord heals the pain, but that divorce is never erased from your memory.  My identity was shaken.  I became the product of a broken home.  But as the pieces were shaking, what came to the surface was that I was first and foremost a child of God.  Should God strip away all the other labels that people place on me (daughter, sister, tree hugger, student, staffworker, etc), only that would remain.

Nevertheless, I didn’t realize until today just how scared I was of marriage because I’m afraid of divorce.  I’m afraid of the arguments that come between two people who vowed to love each other till death do you part.  I’m afraid of marrying the wrong person because I know how painful and earth shattering divorce is.  And I know the bitterness and the resentment that can come.

I was talking on the phone to my best friend, and I told her my fear of being single.  And she said–what’s meant to be will be.  But I asked her–were my parents meant to get a divorce?  Was that meant to be??  And I still am wrestling with God about the answer.  I know that sin wormed its way into their marriage and rotted it from the insdie out.  But was that part of God’s plan?

The Lord convicted me too, asking me…do you really believe that I work everything out for Good?  Do you really believe that my plans always prevail in the end?  Do you really believe that you can mess with life so badly that my plans do not come to fruition?  Do you really believe that I am Sovereign??

So choose.  Pray, consult, listen, use wisdom.  But choose.  Don’t live life in fear of making the wrong choices because no matter what you go through, I will be there.  No matter what happens, I will use it for good.  No matter what happens, I have you in my hands.  No matter what happens, I am in control.  No matter what happens, I love you and that is enough.

Do not fear impending danger.  Do not fear evil derailing my plan.  Do not fear a life of pain.  Do not fear threats that are real or imagined.  Because I am the Lord your God, and you are mine.  Trust me.

When we seek to know the Lord, we aim to please him, and we find ourselves squarely in the will of the Lord.  It’s not something to be sought, but something to be lived.

The antonyms to fear are courage,security, calm, and intrepidity.  (Does this not sound like a life lived in freedom in the Lord?)

The cure to fear, however, is faith.

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The Joy of Wandering in the Wilderness

I read 1 Kings 19 this morning, and I just…there’s so much in here.

1 KINGS 18

Elijah  comes to Israel, where the king has done great evil in the eyes of God, and has therefore led the nation astray.  I got the sense that the sins of the people lie with the people, but also on the king.  And Elijah asks the people:  “How long will you hesitate between two opinions? If the Lord is God, follow Him; but if Baal, follow him.”  Elijah challenges the prophets of Baal–each will put forth a sacrifice on the altars, and whoever is the true God will bring down fire to consume the sacrifice.  So the prophets of Baal pray all morning and into the afternoon, and they wail and they cut themselves that their god might hear them, but nothing happens.  Elijah, after them, takes four cisterns full of water and pours them over the sacrifice–not once, not twice, but THREE times, so much water that it’s flooding and pooling around the sacrifice.  And he calls out to God, and immediately fire rains down and consumes the water and the sacrifice, and all the people believe.  So they round up the prophets of Baal and put them to death.

How long will you waver between two opinions?? Elijah asks them.  This really hit home for me, as I’ve been struggling to find joy in obedience to the Lord.  He has asked me to end a dating relationship that I’ve been in for six months (my first, at the age of 26 years old), with a God-fearing man who meditates on scripture, writes songs based on the psalms, and respects me and sees me as a daughter of the King, and not as a prize to be gained or an object to be used.  This relationship has grown and stretched me in the Lord in so many ways, and he has said that it’s as iron sharpens iron.  But perhaps nothing in our relationship has grown me as much as obeying the Lord and choosing to (attempt) to let go.  It’s been two months now, and sometimes, there are still pain and tears when I think about the loss, and it’s a pain unlike that I’ve felt before. (will be a post in itself)

And yet in this, God convicted me on Sunday that he requires obedience not just in deed, but obedience in attitudes of the heart.  We have ended things, we are no longer talking about marriage, or meeting up one on one, or once a week.  We no longer text, or call, we hardly talk, really.  But I have not been glad to obey God in this, I’ve only felt sorrow and have even chosen to rub salt in my own wounds by reminiscing and allowing myself to think about him.  But God is calling me to be joyful in my obedience, to not just want to obey, but to be glad to follow him.  What kind of relationship is it if you just drag your feet through the motions, kicking the curb and dawdling like a petulant child?  Joy is independent of circumstances.  Happiness is based on what happens, events.  But joy, true joy from the Lord, is everlasting. He gives us joy in our poverty, in our afflictions, in the aching of our hearts, to know that He alone is enough, and He is with us always.  How long will I be obedient in action, but long for God to change his mind in my heart?  Ah, it’s truly painful.

1 KINGS 19

So in 1 Kings 19, Elijah gets word that the king and his wife want to put him to death for killing all of their prophets.  So Elijah, this man of God who just called on God to burn a soaking sacrifice, who is known for being so godly that death never touches him, and he rides up to heaven in a chariot of fire, this man, flees.  He runs away.  Once he reaches a large town, he leaves his servant there and continues to run into the wilderness.

He fears for his life, and lies down in the wilderness, asking for God to take his life before Jezebel reaches him.  He fears dying at the hands of man.

Instead, an angel feeds him, twice, saying “Arise, eat, this journey is too great for you.” And it is enough to sustain him for forty days’ wanderings as he progresses towards a mountain.  When he reaches his destination, the Lord speaks to him and asks him “What are you doing here, Elijah?”  He answers, saying that he is fleeing for his life.  The voice tells him to go and stand at the mountain, and “Behold, the Lord was passing!”

A great and strong wind rocks the mountain walls, then an earthquake, and then a great fire.  But the Lord is not in any of them.  He comes after the fire, in the sound of a gentle blowing, and at this, Elijah emerges from the cave he was in, wraps his face in his mantle, and steps out to meet the Lord.  Again, the Lord asks him “What are you doing here, Elijah?”  And again, Elijah tells the Lord that he is fleeing for his life.

The Lord then tells Elijah to turn around, go back into the wilderness, to go to Damascus, and proclaim new kings for both Israel and Judah, and then to anoint Elisha to take his place.

He arrives in Damascus, finds Elisha, and puts his mantle over him.  Elisha, however, asks to say goodbye to his parents, which Elijah allows, and then Elisha follows and attends to Elijah.

There is SO much goodness in this passage.

  1. A man as holy as Elijah has his moments where he fears man more than he fears the Lord.  And God is not angry with him, God simply wants Elijah to admit where he’s at (What are you doing here?), to recognize that he is fleeing from man, instead of trusting in Him.  And God meets Elijah in a crazy way in the midst of his fear.
  2. After such a strong demonstration of God’s power (lighting the wet sacrifice), there will be those who turn to follow God, but there will be those too, who will seek to kill you and the God that you worship.  We’re always at war.
  3. Elijah fled to the wilderness alone.  He left his servant behind, just as Abraham left his servants behind when he went up on a mountain, and just as Jesus often retired by himself to pray.  These people willingly chose to be alone when they go to meet with the Lord, but in truth, the wilderness can be a lonely place.  Jesus was alone in the wilderness for forty days as well, led by the Spirit to go there.
  4. Even holy people have moments where they would rather just be taken up and leave this earth behind.  It is selfish and sinful, to be sure, to escape the trials and difficulties and fears of this world, but at least we are not alone when we have such thoughts.
  5. God knows what we can handle, and he will provide and sustain us so we can continue.  Arise, and eat, for this journey is too great for you.” How beautiful!!!  The Lord knows, even when we flee in fear, that we are weak, and he is tender and gentle with us.  While we are still on this earth, while God still has plans for us, he will sustain us so we can accomplish his plans.  And what he provides is enough.  Elijah lasted forty days on those two meals.
  6. Even in the wilderness, Elijah is open and sensitive to the words of the Lord, and obeys his commands, and the Lord meets him.
  7. I love that the Lord was not in the great wind, nor the earthquake, nor the fire.  These great demonstrations of power and might announce the Lord’s coming (and strike fear and awe in our hearts), but the Lord himself appears as the “sound of a gentle blowing”.  Again, it’s so tender.  He is the God of angel armies, the God of all creation, the God of righteousness and justice, of power and might, but he presents himself as the rustling of a gentle breeze.  I think sometimes, especially when we find ourselves in sin, like Elijah, fearing the world more than our God, fleeing to protect ourselves, and wanting to die to avoid the pain and fears of this world, we often expect harsh judgement and a godly slap in the face.  Or even when Jesus came, the Jews expected to find a mighty king who would overthrow governments and reign in power.  But instead, it’s his loving kindness that leads us to repentance, it’s his great mercy and grace that touches our hearts and bids us die and follow him.  Surely our God is the God of both/and–he is both righteous AND gracious, just AND merciful, pillars of fire AND the sound of a breeze…and he chose to be a baby in a manger.  As Matthew Henry says  “Gracious souls are more affected by the tender mercies of the Lord than by his terrors.”
  8. He calls Elijah by name and gives him a mountain top experience, where his courage is restored, he is refreshed, and his purpose and vision are renewed.  It may have been in the midst of dark and uncertain times for him–no food, no water, Jezebel and the wrath of the king seeking his life, but God was there, and God not only provided his needs, but he attended to his soul–Why are you here, Elijah?, and revealed his plans for him.

And so yes, even in my disobedient heart that still wants what the Lord has said is not for me, even as I rub salt in my own wounds (why??), he convicts me, but he is still so tender and so gracious with me.

And he has reminded me too, of all that he has done, of my testimony from day one of laying down my life for him to everything that has led me to being here in Hawaii.  That his hand was upon it all, and while there were periods of wandering in the desert, he was still there, and he was still leading me.  And Lord, that year of wilderness felt so long.  I felt so deserted and spiritually dry.  But your amazing timing and incredible plans were at work even then, this I know full well.

And so you may be leading me into the wilderness now–my closest friend here having graduated and moved away, ending a relationship with my other good friend, small group girls moving away, and my grad school friends all gone or busy with their own lives, you’re pruning my life. Truth, there’s still one good friend here, but even still.  I may not be choosing this for myself, like Elijah, Abraham, or Jesus did, but I know that you still have good work to be done, and that even if I end up in that dreaded wilderness again, that you will meet me there.  You will speak tenderly to me and call me by name, and you will give me new purpose.  You will make these dry bones live.

Ezekiel 37:1-6

The hand of the Lord was on me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the Lord and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. 2 He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. 3 He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?”

I said, “Sovereign Lord, you alone know.”

4 Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! 5 This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath[a] enter you, and you will come to life. 6 I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’”

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TGIF

So basically yesterday was wonderful.
i’d write this in my normal journal, but I left it at home *sigh*.

I had class….that really wasn’t so bad. Especially because Sun Laoshi decided not to pick on us–which was good, because we definitely did NOT have any sort of dialogue ready because Zhen is a native and I…well…I’m American. lol so YAY for that!

Got out of class at 2, was planning on taking a nap, but then I came back and talked with Lauren and Christina for an hour or so, which was really nice because I haven’t seen Christina at all this quarter even though I live right next door to her, and I just like talking to Lauren 🙂 Unfortunately, I found out that the Carlson Building is a no go, because it’s dark, dirty and ugly, but that’s alright. :/

After that, I talked to Eric for a little while and he invited me into his room to play a computer game while Eric “read”. So i played for a little while, and then Louis, our new suitemate, came and played too! So I stayed and talked/played with them for about 2 hours, and Eric really enjoyed having us in his room 😀

Then I was supposed to take a nap, and I got about…1/2 an hour in maybe? And Alex, Sophi and James came knocking on my door for dinner. I already had plans though! Hurray! Well…I mean, hurray for me having plans. So they stayed for a little while, James for a little while longer, and then I had to rush shower to get ready to go out with Eugene, Penny and…mystery people.

Eugene, Penny and I planned this all out on Wednesday night when they were nice enough to walk me to the Library and then stayed and talked with me for about an hour on my late night shift. Eugene was supposed to invite the other two people that could fit in his car…he wanted “manly” men to balance it out, i guess. Because Penny and I are VERY ladylike 😉 ahahhaa

So Eugene came and picked me up from Plex…and he gives someone a call. Lo and behold it’s blanketyblank! I told Eugene during our crazy late night finals study session about how I was interested in him, but I really don’t think Eugene was trying to set us up for anything. Eugene used to disciple him…or maybe he still does, I’m not sure. But in any case…I was like…YAY! but at the same time…”this could be awkward…”  And really, it’s still only an interest.

The latter was true at least for the beginning of the night…at dinner it wasn’t the entire table talking to each other all the time, because we sat Penny across from me, and me next to Eugene who was across from him. Three of us ended up getting drinks–Eugene and Penny both got a margarita, and I got a MOJITO!!! Ah, I think thats my favorite drink so far. (Out of like..the 3 I’ve had. lol) It was BEAUTIFUL. Even prettier than the fruity drinks I love to look at so much.

And my face turned red. HAAHHA. I really can’t tell if it’s red because I get kind of embarassed when I’m drinking alcohol because I think about how I’m going to turn red (thus a self-fulfilling prophecy) or if it’s because I really do have the asian glow. After Chili’s they said my forehead was red too, which would indicate the dreaded glow. But whatever. It was nice to get out and to drive to somewhere for dinner, even though we didn’t make it to Olive Garden, we went to Ruby Tuesday.

Eugene and him were being such gentlemen about holding the doors and everything. So sweet! Afterwards we just stood around and because we’re indecisive we couldn’t figure out what to do for awhile. Baha’i temple, the shedd aquarium, see a movie, see a musical (WICKED!!), get ice cream, etc. Lol. we ended up driving back to 7-11 to get ice cream. and then back to plex (my room) to watch a movie.
We end up meeting James downstairs (who had just come from his old HS bible study reunion), and we head to the second floor to see what people were up to in case they wanted to watch with us. I ran up to clean my room (dirty clothes under the bed), and the rest went and found Alex with Hyden and Tom playing WoW. And Fang in his room. Honestly, I really don’t like that they play WoW. I think it’s the most antisocial social activity possible. Even if you’re in the same room playing together, you’re all on separate machines looking at your own screen. At least with videogames, you’re all watching the same thing and other people can watch you play, you know? But that’s another gripe. (That Alex is upset that people keep baggin on him for)

so then Lyn came, and we were all kinda talking in the hallway–James and Penny, and the WoWers and Euge and Fang, and so craisin and I kinda just…were awkwardly talking a little bit. Then we lost him to the WoW room…but he survived and came out after a little while! And then we decided to watch The Princess Bride (James’ suggestion), and that’s where we lost Eugene. LOL So it became Penny, James, me, and surprisingly, him! I thought he would stay down with the guys, because he really doesn’t know us very well, but he came too! (TO MY ROOM!!!! ^_^) and we watched. he sat on the floor by my dresser though, instead of sitting with James on the bed because he didn’t want to get it dirty. (?) lol he’s so weird. Penny and I sat on the floor under my bed. But his butt got the better of him and at least he sat in my chair for most of the movie.

Afterwards, we decided to walk Penny home because she wasn’t going to take saferide and it was already past 1 by then. So James and I decided to go, even though I wanted to wake up early to volunteer (slept through both my alarms like a baby. LOL SO SAD!) We went downstairs to get James’ coat, and by then it was Alex, Fang, Hyden, Tom playing Wii (much better). Again, I thought maybe he would stay and play with them (I think Alex wanted him to), or go back to Park Evanston, because he looked SO tired. He was leaning on the wall and closing his eyes! Surprisingly, he decided to walk up with us.

It ended up that James and Penny talked together, and craisin and I talked together. We talked about my volunteering site, his major decisions, what he wanted to do this summer (because he knew that I got the job at Seaworld since we have Hanyu together), etc. And when we got to Penny’s house, he was so surprised! He said “We’re here already?! That was so short!!!” Yes, talking to nice people will shorten the time 😉 Nah, Penny’s is only about 10 min away from plex. lol

We started heading back, and we were talking about multiethnicity and being bilingual and such, and I asked himwhy his parents moved to California his junior year of HS. His dad was in the housing market (I forget the name of that–and coincidentally I learned Lauren’s dad is too that day!) and things went south for Asia in that department. And his parents knew they wanted to send him to school in America for college. And then we ran into Roz which cut our conversation short. Roz offered him a ride because they had a car, but he refused multiple times. I think part of it was just not wanting to bother them…I would probably refuse a couple times too and then finally agree (because by then it was past 1:30 and us dainty women should not wander the streets alone so late!), but he resolutely held his ground. 🙂

Then James started asking him about VT (boo lame topic! lol) and we arrived at Plex. Where we said Adieu. He said something like…”Hopefully I’ll run into you guys again this weekend” or something along those lines, and I said “Well, if you feel like watching the Sound of Music, you know where it’s at!” and then he asked “Where and when?” And I said “6:15, at plex!” James then reminded me about Junior Dining, and I said, “Oh, that’s true, you would miss Junior Dining…but you could always come late because the movie is 3 hours long!” And he said that he’d rather come for the beginning rather than the scary/tense end (he doesn’t like scary movies–so cute!), so he said he might come 🙂

As we were stepped into the lobby of Plex, James gave me a very knowing look. hahaha. He asked if he could tell Alex and Tom, but I said no….unless they ask, they don’t need to know 🙂 I’m happy with just knowing myself. 🙂 And who knows…I hope he comes! although Jr. Dining got moved to The Lam, Lan, Lee place, so its right by where he lives.

I don’t even like him…and I’m not even that interested anymore. Which is good, because I think it makes it easier to talk to him. ^_^ But it’s interesting how God is really putting us together this quarter. But it’s only been the first week of classes. So we’ll see how the rest of them pan out. 🙂

Wo hen gaoxing! 🙂

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